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She walked back to Jakes office, knocking on the door ‘Come in.’ he barked. He looked up to see Ludvine walk into the room ‘Sir?’ she said as breathlessly as she could manage. ‘Yes.’ ‘I saw your light was still on and I was wondering if you needed some company?’ she asked, letting the shawl fall from her shoulders revealing her sheer nightgown and her small nearly bare breasts. Normally he would take advantage of such a situation, especially in his current predicament. His dick was harder than it had ever been before, he had not had sex recently and he was ready to fuck the first thing that moved. But try as he might, even with his painful erection, he could not bring himself to do it. ‘I have a lot of paper work to finish.’ he said ‘Well can I get you something to eat?’ she walked closer to him. ‘No.’ ‘How about a fresh drink?’ She was close to him, the shawl dangling from her arms. ‘Yes.’ he nodded. Maybe if he let her get his drink she would just leave. He didn’t want to have sex. I thought that somehow,if my dad really whipped me hard (which he never did) it would somehow"make a man out of me."In the early sixties it was still common for dads to whip their sons inworking-class neighborhoods. I remember hearing a k** down the streetreally "getting it" from his dad, on more than one occasion, who used arazor strop on his boys out in the garage. The k** once showed me hiswelts the day after a particularly brutal beating when we were both aroundtwelve. I was turned-on by this even then.Since I so craved masculine attention and didn't know how to fight, I fellvictim to bullies in junior high school. They would abuse me in the boysroom after school, making me light their cigarettes or kiss their sneakers,making me hold their dicks for them while they pissed. I thought if I justdo what they say, I won't get hurt. They would call me names while theyabused me for kicks.Although I repressed this (even now the memories are hazy and partial)these kinds of actions.
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